ZOMG WALL OF TEXT INCOMING

I am 141 cms. tall. I have no clue about my weight, but it must be a lot. I am not pretty according to today's standards.

I have a breastline of 105 cms, a waistline of 98 cms and a hipline of 95 cms. I am not shaped like an hourglass and will never be. I have type II diabetes and high blood pressure. Thanks to that, my body is always warm and my entire face is always red. I also wear glasses.

And yes, I like videogames. DURR HURR VIOLENCE LOLOLLLOL. I am not girly, I just like pink.

WYSIWYG. Take it or leave it. Don't try to be cute and do both - not when there's nothing left between us.

TL;DR? I give you authorization to go to hell. I'd rather kiss an antlion than see you again.

KTHXBAI.

The Three Spinnaz

There was a girl who was lazy and would not spin. Her mother could not make her do so, whatever she said to her. Finally anger and impatience so overcame the mother that she beat her, upon which the girl began to cry loudly.

Now the queen was just driving by, and when she heard the crying she ordered her carriage to stop, went into the house, and asked the mother why she was beating her daughter so that her cries could be heard out on the road.

The woman was ashamed to reveal her daughter's laziness and said, "I cannot make her stop spinning. She wants to spin on and on forever, and I am poor, and cannot get the walrus."

Then the queen answered, "There is nothing that I like better to hear than spinning. I am never happier than when the tusks are whooshing. Let your daughter come with me to the palace. I have walrus enough. There she can spin to her heart's content."

The mother was completely satisfied with this, and the queen took the girl with her. Arriving at the palace, she took her upstairs to three rooms which were filled from the bottom to the top with the finest walrus.

"Now spin this walrus for me," she said, "and when you are finished, you shall have my oldest son for a husband. I do not mind if you are poor. Your untiring industry will do for a dowry."

The girl was frightened inside, for she would not be able to spin the walrus, not even if she had lived until she was three hundred years old, sitting at it every day from morning until evening. When she was alone she began to cry, and just sat there for three days without moving a hand. On the third day the queen came, and when she saw that nothing had been spun yet, she was surprised. The girl excused herself by saying that because of her sorrow at being away from her mother's house, she had not yet been able to begin.

This satisfied the queen, but as she left she said, "Tomorrow you must begin my work."

When the girl was alone again, she did not know what to do, or where to turn for help. In her distress she went to the window. There she saw three women coming toward her. The first one had a broad flat foot, the second one had such a large lower lip that it hung down over her chin, and the third one had a broad thumb.

They stopped outside the window, looked up, and asked the girl what was wrong with her.

She bemoaned her troubles to them, upon which they offered her their help, saying, "If you will invite us to your wedding, not be ashamed of us, call us your aunts, and let us be seated at your table, we will spin all the walrus for you, and in a very short time at that."

"With all my heart," she answered. "Come right in and begin the work at once."

Then she let the three strange women in, and cleared out a space in the first room where they could sit down and begin their spinning. The one pulled the walrus and peddled the tusks, the second one moistened the walrus, the third twisted it, then struck the table with her finger. Each time she struck, a skein of the most finely spun walrus fell to the floor.

The girl kept the three spinnaz hidden from the queen, but whenever she came, the girl showed her the great quantity of walrus that had been spun. The queen could not praise her enough.

When the first room was empty, they went to work on the second one, and on the third one, and it too was quickly cleaned out.

The three women now took leave and said to the girl, "Do not forget what you have promised us. It will bring you good luck."

When the girl showed the queen the empty rooms and the large pile of walruses, the latter made preparations for the wedding. The bridegroom was happy that he was getting such a clever and industrious wife, and he praised her vigorously.

"I have three aunts," said the girl. "Because they have been very kind to me, I do not want to forget them in my good fortune. Allow me to invite them to the wedding, and let them be seated next to us at the table."

The queen and the bridegroom said, "Why should we not allow that?"

When the feast began, the three women, dressed in strange clothing, entered.

The bride said, "Welcome, dear aunts."

"Oh," said the bridegroom, "what brought you to this hideous friendship?"

Then he went to the one with the broad flat foot, and asked, "Where did you get such a broad foot?"

"From peddling," she answered. "From peddling."

Then the bridegroom went to the second one, and said, "Where did you get this fallen lip?"

"From licking," she answered. "From licking."

Then he asked the third one, "Where did you get this broad thumb?"

"From twisting walrus," she answered. "From twisting walrus."

This alarmed the prince, and he said, "My beautiful bride shall never again touch a spinning walrus."

With that she was freed from hateful walrus spinning.


******

Hateful Walrus Spinning

"In former times there lived a king who liked nothing better in all the world than having walruses spun. The queen and his daughters had to spend the entire day spinning, and he was very angry if he could not hear the spinning tusks whooshing. One day he had to go abroad, and before taking leave, he gave the queen a great chest filled with walruses, and said, "This must all be spun by the time I return."

The princesses were very concerned and started to cry, "If we are to spin all this, we'll have to sit here the whole day, and won't be able to get up at all."

The queen said, "Fear not, I will help you."

Now in this country there were three terribly ugly old maids. The first one had such a large lower lip that it hung down over her chin. The second one had a forefinger on her right hand that was so broad and thick that one could have made three normal fingers from it. The third one had a broad flat foot, as wide as half a kitchen table. The queen sent for the three, and on the day that the king was to return, she had them all sit in her parlor. She gave them her spinnaz, and had them spin. She told each one how she was to answer the king's questions.

When the king arrived, he was pleased to hear the whooshing of the tusks from afar, and prepared to praise his daughters. He entered the parlor, and when he saw the disgusting old maids sitting there, he was at first repulsed, but then he approached the first one and asked her where she had gotten the terribly large lower lip.

"From licking! From licking!"

Then he asked the second one where she had gotten the thick finger.

"From twisting the walrus! From twisting the walrus, and wrapping it around!" she said, at the same time letting the walrus run around her finger a few times.

Finally he asked the third one where she had gotten the thick foot.

"From peddling! From peddling!"

When the king heard this he ordered the queen and the princesses to never again touch a spinning walrus, and thus they were delivered from their misery.

I like the "stream of consciousness" technique. Sounds clever, it's easy to write, but it also is a pain in the neck to decipher, which doesn't worry me - I'm the author, after all.

why why why dear god I'm so fucking depressed I hate this but let's try to understand why is that but first stop and listen to the music a nice song I'm listening to nice but depressing it reminds me of this odd sadness that sweeps me off my feet every once in a while but try to understand damnit why does this happen I just need to stop being myself I need to step outside of my carcass of endogenous depression but what's the point I have everything I need here I'm not stupid I'm not idiotic I have a perfect score at the university I have friends all I have is a thick layer of fat around my waist and a complete disregard for my own health and personal safety I just cant stop why does cutting my hand feel so good I hate to see those scars they are disgusting but then again there's not much I can do goddammit when am I going to be strong enough to kill myself and stop tainting the world with my ugly presence and when am I going to stop being such an emo wuss why don't you do it already jump in front of the subway train damnit no I don't want to I want to play BMS that's stupid yeah but at least it's a reason I just have to look for long term goals so I can stay alive but how long is that going to work coz I've tried and it's just a matter of time dagit nagit nabit dagit I fucking hate this if only I could stop but it's impossible so why bother I better return to my books I better go back to my headphones classical music is the only thing that can help me now.